


Shadows at Midnight

by bigscarythings



Category: Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/F, First Meeting Writing Contest, Fuck Or Die, Outdoor Sex, Pre-Canon, Soul Gem Play, Strap-Ons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:20:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26828023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigscarythings/pseuds/bigscarythings
Summary: There are several orders of business that must be addressed before Mitama becomes Livia’s student. First and foremost is the matter of preventing Mitama from becoming a Witch.
Relationships: Livia Medeiros/Yakumo Mitama
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Shadows at Midnight

**Author's Note:**

> I had been in the middle of writing a perfectly fluffy MomoMita lewdfic before one of my evil hideous goblin friends DMed me with sad Mitama headcanons. This was the result of that conversation. It was interesting to write and explore this time period, so I hope that, on some level, you enjoy this fic.
> 
> Two lines in this fic were directly pulled from the NA game: “Mitama Yakumo, you are another girl who wished for a thousand curses” (‘My True Nature’ memoria description) and “If you want to live, ask for my help” (Mitama’s MSS 3). This was written for the First Meeting Writing Contest hosted at the Uwasa of the Lewdfic Factory discord - if you get the chance, I highly recommend checking out the other entries, too.

Livia came to her on the night she was supposed to die. To Mitama, she seemed to be another illusion at first, a shadow standing at the shore, a ghost among the black skeletons of the amusement park that hung over them in immense silhouettes. Livia, back then a stranger, strode into the lake, with certitude.

Mitama did not stir. Her vision ached with the alien, nameless colors from the Labyrinth, and the Witch’s shriek still drilled through her skull. She felt cold in places, numb in others, and did not feel the water around her, not the blood trickling from her back, into her blouse, her jacket - the injury, insistent, that would not heal.

Livia stood over her. She wore a crisp, knife-edge blouse and a black skirt. Everything she wore was unblemished. The entirety of her was rigid. She looked into Mitama’s eyes, and when Mitama still did not react, only then did she lean down, inclining her head against her ear, regarding her like a shark: “Mitama Yakumo, you are another girl who wished for a thousand curses.”

Mitama stared. Livia did not move.

“Come with me and I will save you, even if it is only from yourself.”

She waited for Mitama to rise on her own accord. For Mitama, moving her legs was like snapping an iceberg with only bare hands. The air itself seemed to resist her, as if there were hands on her shoulders pulling her back into the lake, but she did rise. For it, Livia handed her a Grief Seed.

That was what she would become. Mitama knew it the moment she’d set her eyes on the Witch and the flames consuming it. Her Soul Gem almost blended with that impossible black encaged in the Seed's silver ribs. It remained so, even after the Seed shook and thumped from the darkness it had absorbed from her own.

“I see,” Livia said. There was something of a grim smile on her face. “You’ll be a tricky one.”

They returned to the shore as slowly and deliberately as Livia had left it. They walked up the hill to a truck parked precariously on its length. On the roof shone the prickle of Kyubey’s red eyes, long enough for them to know he was there - shortly before he pattered off into the night.

\- - -

They drove around for quite some time before Livia spoke again. Up until then, they sat in quiet darkness, with the hum of the aircon drying them off, the rolling of the wheels.

“What did you wish for?”

Mitama, then, still did not know Livia’s name. She glanced aside. Livia stared straight ahead. Mitama didn’t know this part of Kamihama – the mountains in the distance that never grew closer; the dense forest crowded around them. “You said I was ‘another girl.’ What does that mean?”

Livia shifted her mouth, and said, “There are girls who wished for hope, and fight for it–”

“I know that.”

Livia did not say anything else. Mitama dug herself into the seat and looked out the window. “How did you know my name?”

“I asked him. Kyubey. He cannot lie. He can avoid telling the entire truth, but he cannot lie. You have to keep asking questions until you’re certain you have the information you need.”

_How do I stop this, Kyubey?_ Mitama had begged him, hissing, between phone calls to Kanagi that buzzed and buzzed and buzzed and went unanswered - the nausea and terror that ate itself and grew in her stomach–

_You can get a Grief Seed from defeating a Witch._ She’d been naive enough to think he was clueless to her plight. _Let me help you find a Labyrinth._

_I can’t fight–_

_You’d be surprised what magical girls are capable of when they’re put under pressure._

The rest of it was inevitable. There was the familiar, clawing her shoulder and dragging her to its fiery Witch, but the whole Labyrinth recoiled with the Witch’s screeching fury at the offering and she ran, took off, she could do nothing to stop it, Kanagi, Kanagi, where was Kanagi, she blitzed a blind, frantic route, still desperate and calling through the night–

“What was your wish?”

“That’s none of your business,” Mitama said.

“I promise you it came true, or will come true.”

She felt oddly breathless. “Where are we going?”

“I won’t hurt you, no matter what you wished for, but I need to know the truth.”

Not even Kanagi knew that. She’d never asked for it. Mitama didn’t know what lie she’d come up with if she did. She silently pried the door handle; it didn’t yield. “Ask Kyubey.”

“That’s one thing you shouldn’t ask him. It’s a matter of proper etiquette among magical girls. That’s what you are, and you’re still one of them.”

“Drop me off,” Mitama snapped. “I can find my own way home.”

Livia sighed, and Mitama’s chest clenched when they did, in fact, pull over. Mitama’s side rumbled over stone and gnarled roots before the truck rattled to a stop. The lights went out, and all went silent. But Mitama could still see Livia – her hair and skin, dark, in some ways blending in with the color of the night. Her smile wasn’t one that reached her eyes.

Maybe this woman would kill her, shove her corpse in the woods. Her body would be found. Riots would start. The city would burn to the ground. She had an idea, even then, what exactly Livia was - someone exactly like herself.

“Hold out your Soul Gem,” Livia said. “It’s dark again.”

_Again_ wasn’t quite the right word when it had been dark already. Once Livia showed the Grief Seed, however, Mitama summoned it anyway. Rather than handing it over, Livia clinked its needle on the surface of Mitama’s Soul Gem, and she touched the other side of the Soul Gem with her fingertips, for balance. A shiver raced up Mitama’s spine, as if a rusty nail was tracing its way up, the cuts in her shoulder stinging with it. She tensed her body, she fidgeted her hands, she–

“Close your eyes.”

She did so and it was like Livia had plunged her hand down her throat to pull out her heart, grasping and tearing, stinging, organs thrashing– Mitama threw her head back, struck glass and her entirety burst with agony and her vision spun and slew with flashes of Kanagi and Mikage and Mizuna, and memories, other memories, women and girls and classmates and how strong Kanagi was even just playfully pinning down her wrists and sad shameful nights and that night on the rooftops screaming into the sky and Kyubey making his offer from up on the water tower, ears twitching at her declaration, _I want to be the one to destroy Kamihama–_

Mitama opened her eyes, her cheeks wet, echoes of pain still pulsing with every heartbeat.

“I don’t like doing that,” Livia said gravely, “but I absolutely needed to know. You’ll learn how to do that, too. Properly.”

“I–” Her guts swerved from the effort of speaking.

“If you want to live, ask for my help. Let me save you. Do you want to kill your sister along with the city? Your family? Your friend?”

“Don’t you dare hurt them–” 

“I have no such intentions. Do you?”

Maybe, Mitama realized suddenly. Maybe she did.

Livia, instead of waiting for an answer, glanced down, yet again, at the Soul Gem that Mitama realized was sitting in her lap. “You really are a challenge,” she said, oddly soft. “There’s something we can do. A traditional solution. It can calm you down long enough for you to understand what I’m asking of you.”

She sucked in a deep breath. “What’s the solution?”

“Sex.”

The churning in her gut turned into a storm, and a horrible, thrilling intrigue. Silent laughter rattled her and the tears blinded her. “If you want to destroy this city,” Livia continued, “I’ll let you go. I will be completely unable to stop you. I don’t have the Grief Seeds to save you.” Many realizations were bursting through Mitama’s head all at once. “There. You’re almost turning.”

_Go ahead,_ some vague urge told her. _It’s fine._ There was a shroud drawn over her senses, but even with only muffled sounds now trapped in her ears, she could still hear herself think _Don't let her touch it._ But her limbs were too heavy to move, no matter how much she urged herself. The gem vaguely buckled in her hands, pulsing like a heart, even after Livia cleaned it, one last time, a time in which she did not hurt Mitama. Mitama’s hands clenched on each side of her Soul Gem, and in spite of Livia’s efforts she felt ice inching through her blood again. The gravity of it all pulled her stomach to the floor.

There was a frightening beauty to her situation. Did she ever imagine this was going to be her first time?

Of course she didn’t. Nor did she say no.

Mitama sat stiff and tight-lipped through her very first kiss. Livia held her cheek, caressed a long, slender hand down her arm, lips moving - all the motions of a lover but with none of the passion. It didn’t make a difference to her body, as something electric sparked through the frozen fog. Mitama did not think. Her mouth slackened on its own. As Livia traced her hand down Mitama’s chest, Mitama - she was just a teenager, after all - felt pleasure hatch and unfurl in the pit of her stomach, and the fear and freezing cold she should have felt was muffled under the sheer, animalistic thrill.

Livia’s touch was cool and clinical but still brought friction to Mitama’s thigh, and the tickling sensation gave way to headiness even as she locked her shoulders tight . Mitama’s hips rotated with the circles drawn, drawn into that pleasure, foreign, hungry for it - thought of her mother for some unfathomable, unearthly reason, stroking her hair in those same circles but not like that, never like that. It left her cold again. She prayed she would remain cold. The hand traced over her skirt, into her lap, and Mitama’s core abruptly throbbed with it, and then–

Her lips flew open in a gasp when heat and clenching need belated through every inch of her body, and Livia took every advantage of it, forcing Mitama to gasp, thrash, her body throwing itself into the warmth bound tight over her very being - her Soul Gem, the thought spiked into her head as Livia moved her hand around it. Whatever little sparks were stoked and fanned into a fury trying to meet the warmth surrounding her and the cold, the cold - Mitama certainly did not feel cold, but felt thawing and trickling and every muscle ratcheting tight in a bucking, squirming mess– 

Mitama’s mouth suddenly felt empty in her struggle. She felt a murmur against it. Every part of her needed to be filled, but her whine was captured against those plush lips, hips jerking and suddenly a weight pushing tight against hers, pushing her into the seat. Livia stilled her hips with one unyielding hand, and the overwhelming warmth finally unclasped itself. 

She panted, aware of the sweat all over her - the heat erupted from the inside, felt empty, everywhere, between her legs. Muscles sought something to cling inside her and got nothing. Livia’s gentle touch made her body contract with even more anticipation. Livia knew this, and made certain to press her hand firmly on Mitama’s bare waist - _bare,_ Mitama realized, not knowing when her blouse had been untucked from her skirt. She felt the two hints of metal. 

“I’m hanging onto your Soul Gem for now,” Livia said. “That trick should be used sparingly. It’s very addictive, I’m sure you can tell. But effective, once you know what you’re doing.”

“What are you...?” Mitama’s voice cracked.

Livia regarded her coldly, and Mitama’s body squeezed her thighs tight all on its own, tugging a spiral of arousal in her clit. “Do you feel it?” Livia asked. “Do you feel it’s a physical way of relieving our despair? You should see your Soul Gem - it’s not so dark, now, and it’s not coming back. Do you understand it, Mitama?”

In the resounding silence, Mitama understood, with faint horror, that she was going to enjoy this no matter what either of them did.

“Let me try this,” Livia said at last. Mitama’s body was loose enough to not resist Livia’s guiding hands; she didn’t register the pain or soft apology when thumped into the ceiling, but nestled into Livia’s lap, head crooked against her head. Livia’s hand stroked up her spine, and her clothes just felt so hot in that moment, just when Livia threaded her fingers into Mitama’s wound-up hair. “You take good care of it,” she murmured, but in that very instant Mitama tensed, and her hand slid right out. 

There had been few people who had been so gentle with it. Not even Mitama herself. She didn’t dare admit that out loud.

For the kiss that followed, Mitama truly felt the movements of their tongues, not just the overwhelming fullness of her mouth, and she felt the trace of every article of clothing as it was removed from her, discarded in a crumpled lump, until she was naked and Livia was not. Mitama was starting to understand what that really meant, too, leaning into Livia’s hands: the sweltering coil in her groin, the shudder when fingers that had seemed so warm now became a cool balm against her breasts, pinching, deliberate and nothing more and yet making Mitama shamefully undone. She pushed herself and ground herself into every single touch, spread her legs and sunk into the firm skin of Livia’s thigh.

“You’re ready, aren’t you?” Livia said, barely audible. One hand grasped the curve of Mitama’s ass and shoved it down. “Go on, then, I won’t stop you.”

God it was not enough. She groaned at the solidity and her body grinded itself, the strange rasp of the hose making her more wet, her pussy filling out hot and thick. Her hips bucked fast. She cracked open her eyes and Livia's indifference made Mitama’s stomach burn and wrench up. She was utterly unable to stop herself as she gripped the seat over Livia's shoulders and fucked herself even further on her thigh, arched back, striving, whining. 

And it was still _not enough._ Arousal was tangled up in the root of her, needed some kind of release, but somehow using her own hand was easier than this, and maybe that would never be enough again, either. But this was so much better either way. She threw herself into harder, faster circles, baring her teeth, not daring to open her eyes, not even as Livia’s finger squeezed under Mitama and pushed that achy nub of flesh - the tortured cry that tore out of Mitama’s throat startled even herself. It was too late to stop herself when she came in a hot, thick gush on that stranger’s leg.

Livia patted her on the shoulder as Mitama’s rhythm slowed down, sputtered to a halt. The pleasure wasn’t gone. It was better but it wasn’t gone. She forced her eyelids together as though she could squeeze out that arousal by herself, but of course, nothing happened. 

“Look at me.” 

Mitama wasn’t even allowed to hold her gaze against the dark scrutiny of her eyes as she moved Mitama’s chin around with the tip of her finger, glanced at the ring still on her finger. “All right.” She slid out from under Mitama, and Mitama clung to the chair and waited for the tight clenching deep inside her to subside. All that reached her ears was the fussing of the key and some switches and the quick grumble of the engine.

There was some nagging feeling in the back of her head, quickly smothered by ratcheting, painful arousal. “Don’t,” was all she could choke out in spite of herself. “I’m not done.”

“That’s right. You’re not.” The locks unlatched and the truck went silent again. She snapped a hand against Mitama’s flank. “Step outside.”

The fresh air was the medicine she needed, waking her up as she stepped on the dirt, cragged under her bare feet. Her clothes, shoes, she realized, were somewhere in the truck - her thighs were wet and chilly now that they were out in the open. The injury on her back stung. It didn’t bleed but it felt like it cracked when she twisted her head. 

She regarded the woods. Her legs flexed. She could still run. She heard the opposite door clunk shut, the clatter of something on the hood of the car.

“Come here.”

She made no attempt to move.

“Mitama.”

She dared not to think of the maddening, sickening feelings clashing in her when she heard the sound of that voice - the nausea, the pleasure, swarming and indecipherable. “Who are you?”

“Your teacher,” Livia said, as coolly as ever.

Mitama couldn’t match her. “Have you ever answered a question honestly in your life?”

She almost thought she got away with it. And for it, horrible pleasure wracked through and all around her body again, agonizing and forceful and wet, made her brace herself against the door to keep from falling–

“I’ve been teaching you,” Livia said, “from the minute you laid eyes on me.”

“Ah–” She was going to come, going to come, going to come _right there_ – “–stop–”

“Have you been learning?” The hot need gripped her even further and yes, she almost, almost came again before it released, leaving Mitama hissing and buckling.

Sparingly. Livia had said _sparingly._ She had to heave in some breath. “I’m not,” she panted, “very fond of school.”

“That much is obvious. Come here.”

And yet she could not deny herself. Mitama pressed her hands against the truck again. She wobbled over, balancing herself on the wall until she made her way to the front. The blistering lights and the roar of a car rushing past made her freeze. Livia didn’t budge but bobbed her head, urged her on. 

She didn’t want to at first. Yet nothing else was coming to mind. 

“You’ll understand one day.”

And she would. She would understand no one else would save her. She would understand Livia, and maybe even forgive her. In that moment, however, all Mitama could do was exactly what she was told. Her body, if not her heart, would accept nothing less.

“I think our honest selves are terrible people,” Livia murmured, pulling Mitama by the hip against the front grille once she was in arm’s reach. It was a relief and a reward of sorts, Mitama knew on some level. She waited for Livia to say more as she pushed Mitama onto the hood so she was lying on her stomach. She also knew that Livia had said everything she was going to say.

The nails scraping down Mitama were like briars. They crawled under her and tightened around her nipples - which were already so hard and jagged against the metal - and in other places, too. They slid around effortlessly. Mitama burrowed her sounds against her folded arms, and knew, on some level, what was going to happen next, from the hands skimming down the curve of her ass.

“You look beautiful, you know. I’m surprised no one’s ever told you that.”

The fingertip slid in. Mitama slammed her head into the truck with a whimper as her hips shoved into it, and her sounds only increased in pitch with pleasure coming in shocks all over her, Livia’s hand was pressing, intruding, driving her insane, and she was so wet and tight and trembling. Her finger pushed into her pussy and insisted its way in, pressed, pressed, pressed then shoved through tight muscle and Mitama felt her eyes rolling up. Then it was completely buried in her. Her muscles tightened around it, the finger probed, seeking and curling until it shoved a place that made Mitama throw her head back, gripping at the metal that gave her no purchase, gasping. Livia gave her no break but slowly, steadily pumped that finger in and out, crooked it just enough to jab that horribly sensitive spot, Mitama’s hips rolling with every touch, her body jerking like a clumsy young deer.

She writhed on the truck, arched her hips, and as much as she tried to speak, nothing coherent came out of her mouth. Her pussy was just so wet and needy and she needed more - and she got it. Livia added the second finger, and when it reached its very base, Mitama realized the Soul Gem too late, and her world lit up again in spite of her. Unbelievable tightness and warmth convulsed around her, stretching her, almost enough, almost enough, almost, Livia pulled out, Mitama realized her mouth was wide open with panting, totally spread out, hips trying to fuck themselves on nothing, “Please,” she was begging, “please,” she pleaded to that sudden emptiness, felt her cunt hot and engorged and swollen and.

The other hand dug into her hair, combed out the ends of it, made Mitama aware of how much she’d been sweating. Livia scraped against the nape of her neck, passing easily through that long veil of hair. Mitama felt every bit of the motion, and groaned deeply when Livia tore into her skin, clawing from her neck up the curve of her spine, the welts vibrantly stinging against the cold and sweat. Stood still. Her hands clutched Mitama’s hips. And then Livia’s body shoved.

There was something even thicker pushing into Mitama - both hands were indeed still on her, she realized in a panic as she squirmed and fought and it was _stretching_ her, would not stop entering her, and she wanted it, she wanted it, no matter how much she told herself she didn’t want it, she knew she was a terrible, awful liar as her walls urged it in eagerly, stretched around it - she could not stop the shudders. 

Its girth opened her with small, quick thrusts, and she went weak and dizzy; it pushed against her, pushed through her limit and Livia just kept forcing it in, dispassionate, moving deeper with each burst - there was nothing in Mitama’s head but the size of that thing, whatever it was it was long and thick, moving in deeper and deeper, huge, and in a deliberate rhythm. Tears stabbed and hurt, and there was pain between the rushes of nauseating pleasure, until Livia’s hips pressed flush against hers and kept the inside of her so _full_ and pushed the air out of her lungs.

“You’re taking this well.” Livia took sharp breaths, hands bearing down on Mitama’s jerks. “That’s good. That’s very good of you.”

A gust of wind made her tight body flinch, and rustled a leaf onto her back that Livia brushed away. Once Mitama settled, Livia pulled back, almost making Mitama sob from the emptiness again, almost - until the length surged back inside and struck the spot her fingers had indulged before. From there Livia thrusted mercilessly, in constant pistons. Mitama couldn’t keep up with her, couldn’t stop the moans shoved out with every slam. Her nails stabbed into her palms, fists balled so tight, and the metal under her mouth was wet with slobber and the grille must have been even worse, dripping with her slick. Livia only became more relentless, hands digging into her ass. It was fucking, it was punishment for how terrifyingly pleasurable it felt, and Mitama was fully pressed against the truck and coming, with high, incoherent sounds tearing out of her throat, tears streaking down her face, Livia pressing harder, holding her in place - Mitama clenched needily on it, tried to keep it in place, tried to pump something out of it that would not come and clenched yet even more with every pound until she felt like she was about to break.

Then Livia’s angle shifted downwards. A deep, agonizing cry ripped out of Mitama’s gut as it stretched Mitama in a new and alarming way and slamming into her the wall of her cunt, but it wasn’t grinding her clit and she wanted so badly to be touched there, too, as it flared in mad need and alarm again– 

She wanted to talk, tell Livia something, scream at her but nothing would come out no matter how hard she tried - just harsh, cracking moans; the fuck fast and deep in every bit of her; her body thrusting and impaling itself on its own; couldn't stop it if she wanted to, never realized how helpless she could be until that moment, always had been something she could do but all she could do now was take it–

It slammed back where it was before and Mitama cried, pled, pushed into the blinding thrusts. She’d die like this, she thought ravenously, with sharp jerks, buckling and bucking, vision white behind eyelids - her face burned and eyes watered and she broke into another shattering orgasm that mingled with the waves of hurt, and gut and heart soared with _joy._ Her pussy sopped, her muscles wringing out around the stiff, relentless length, and Livia was insistent, still shoved, fucked, until she went dry. Final shouts came howling and pleasure overpowered Mitama, hot slick erupting out of her, dripping down her legs, and tension crushing her, and wanted nothing, nothing more but more and more and more.

“Mitama?”

She answered with a whimper. She shivered under the scratching fingernails again, which surely left trails, a mark on every part of her. 

In that second of her memories flashing - in all those seconds of whatever Livia did to her Soul Gem - did she memorize every dark crevice of Mitama’s heart, every shape of desire that she never even fathomed for herself? That she would reduce Mitama to a wet and craving girl, with that throbbing heat between her legs still absorbing the hard object?

She thought of Kanagi doing those things to her. If it have been so much better with Kanagi; if it would have been worse. If Kanagi would ever know how she felt. If it would ever be worth telling Kanagi everything.

“No one else will save you,” Livia said, one last time - the last time she would ever need to. “No one did so for me.”

It was like mercy. She lifted her hand from Mitama’s hair.

“There we go. The next Grief Seed might actually last.” She braced her hands again. “We’ll do this a few more times to ensure you’re stable.”

Maybe it was an act of kindness that Livia made Mitama take it face-down. It ensured Mitama wouldn’t have to reveal all of the looks on her face, let her muffle all the sounds that came out of her throat - let her cover up every last bit of truth. 

“I hate you,” Mitama said when she felt Livia’s hands again.

“I know.” Livia chuckled. “I understand. I only demand that you don’t despair.”

For that, then, Mitama complied.

\- - -

When she got home, her mother smudged the dirt from Mitama’s face, pulled off the bandage from that morning - the one Mitama had long forgotten was there. Livia watched the proceedings silently; Mitama’s father regarded the intruder warily, but she did not meet his eyes.

“I’ve heard the stories about your daughter,” Livia said, after she’d finally introduced herself. “Coincidentally, I’m a tutor - I specialize in troubled girls like her.”

“We can’t afford that,” her father uttered. 

“My services will cost you nothing.” She glanced at Mitama, though it still appeared she was speaking to her parents. “I only ask that we follow some ground rules.”

Her mother took over the conversation, nodding, “Let’s listen to her.” To Mitama, she said, “The water’s working again. Hurry and get yourself cleaned up, and–”

“We’ve already discussed this, don’t worry." Livia smiled. "She’s on board. She’s had a long day, however.”

“Then get yourself to bed,” her father said. “And don’t worry your mother like that ever again.”

His footsteps so often sounded the end of her and Mikage’s mischief. Even hurrying to the other end of the apartment, she heard him plodding, the screech of the chairs; she saw the glimpse of Mikage peeking out from around the doorway, but didn’t dare look at her fully before slamming the bathroom door shut.

Dried blood washed off from her back. The muck on her legs was stricken off, too. It mingled and swirled into the drain. The pipes would empty themselves back into the lake. In that sinking void of her mind, she wondered, vaguely, what was all the way down there, what exactly people washed off from them - all of it, falling down, lying there, in that darkness.


End file.
